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ÚLTIMA HORA

Chistes Malos 299 41 88877

Participantes:
Creado por:
#61
10 Aug 14
-Tengo muchas ganas de veros
-De veras?
-No, de veros
-----------------------------------------
Que dice una gallega en un bukkake?
Que deleite!!
-----------------------------------------
Un hombre espera en la sala de espera de la Maternidad. En eso se le acerca el médico y le dice:
-Felicidades, han sido quintillizos.
-Que alegría doctor... ¡es que yo tengo un cañón!
Entonces el doctor responde:
-Pues limpie su cañón, porque han salido negros
-----------------------------------------
-Voy a ir al supermercado a robar unas naranjas
-Podrías?
-No hombre, de las buenas
#62
10 Aug 14
Un hombre entra en una droguería y le dice al dependiente:
-Buenos días, ¿me da usted un champú? 8)
Y el dependiente le responde:
-¿Lo quiere usted para pelos finos o pelos grasos? :O
-No... lo quiero para pelos sucios. :yaoming:

Salu2!
[Imagen: 2mfxlaf.png]
When someone is trying to bring you down, it already means that you are above them.
#63
10 Aug 14
-Me he encontrado una cartera en el suelo
-¿llevaba dinero?
-No,llevaba cartas y la he ayudado a levantarse

-----------------------------------------

Noticia dada en lepe´s news
se estrella una avioneta monoplaza en el cementerio de lepe.
recuperado 820 cadaveres.continuan las excabaciones. el piloto salio ileso

-----------------------------------------

-Patxi nos montamos un puticlub
-Vale, pero y si nos va mal?
-Lo abrimos al público
#64
11 Aug 14
- Y, ¿vendes el piso?
- Alquilo.
- ¿Y cuánto pesa?

Salu2!
[Imagen: 2mfxlaf.png]
When someone is trying to bring you down, it already means that you are above them.
#65
11 Aug 14
Joder, menuda noche la de ayer... Recién levantado.
Pero me he despertado con ganas de quemar unas cuantas calorías.
Así que en cuanto salga a la calle lo primero que voy a hacer es prenderle fuego a un niño gordo. Vamoooos.

-----------------------------------------

- ¡Manolo, cuánto tiempo! ¿Qué tal te va la vida?
- Pues acabo de encontrar trabajo de profesor en una academia de inglés.
- ¡Qué suerte, tío! ¿Trabajo estable?
- No, no, table es mesa.

-----------------------------------------

-Al final conseguí sacarme el carnet de manipulador de alimentos!
-Si? Y que tal?
-Pues bien, de momento ya he conseguido poner a los tomates en contra de las hamburguesas
#66
12 Aug 14
Son dos locos que deciden escaparse del manicomio una noche de Luna llena. Tras un estudio minucioso del centro logran salir, se ponen a dar vueltas a una farola y le dice uno al otro:

- ¡Los vigilantes están ahí!
-¿Y qué importa? ¡Les llevamos 300 vueltas de ventaja!

Salu2!
[Imagen: 2mfxlaf.png]
When someone is trying to bring you down, it already means that you are above them.
#67
13 Aug 14
Dos que están dale que te pego y en eso que él se para y ella le pregunta:
-Pero Pepe, qué haces?
A lo que él contesta:
-Es una nueva técnica que he visto en internet. Se llama buffering.

-----------------------------------------

- Caperucita, Caperucita, ¿dónde vas con esa cestita?
- A lavarme el chirri al río
- Joé, cómo ha cambiado el cuento

-----------------------------------------

-Emergencias, dígame
-Un accidente en la A2, creo que hay un herido
-Leve?
-No, no le veo, pero hay mucha sangre
#68
13 Aug 14
@Hyaku Nin Giri nos quedamos solos poniendo chistes eh? ò_ó

-Me he comido una linterna.
-¿En serio?
-No, era un farol.

Salu2!
[Imagen: 2mfxlaf.png]
When someone is trying to bring you down, it already means that you are above them.
#69
13 Aug 14
- QUé cosa es verde y si te la comes te puedes morir?
- Una mesa de pingpong.

-----------------------------------------

- Esta es mi hija, la menor.
- Ah, pues este es mi hijo, fa sostenido.

-----------------------------------------

-Papá, me prestas el coche?
-No,, no puedes cogerlo sin mi supervisión
-Uy,, perdón por no tener superpoderes cómo tú....
#70
14 Aug 14
Era un niño tan feo, tan feo, tan feo que le pregunto a su madre:
-Mamá, Mamá, ¿tu me quieres?
-Si, pero solo como amigos ¡eh!

Salu2!
[Imagen: 2mfxlaf.png]
When someone is trying to bring you down, it already means that you are above them.
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